


deep inside this ancient heart

by empressearwig



Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 01:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1762389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressearwig/pseuds/empressearwig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Marlee and Toby will be such good older siblings. I don't want too big an age gap." Written pre-Shield of Winter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	deep inside this ancient heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spyglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spyglass/gifts), [magisterequitum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterequitum/gifts).



> Surprise? Originally, this was going to be a treat for Jordan for Night on Fic Mountain, but since it got delayed, getting to give this to Grace too seemed like a much better alternative. Prepare for cavities.

Lara was hiding in her office.

It wasn't the most original of hiding places, but she needed five minutes to put her feet up and be able to hear herself think. A flicker at the back of her mind, in the place she'd come to think of as the baby's, and she answered it with all the love she already had for her daughter, rubbing her hand over the small swell of her stomach.

She thought she'd understood just what being pregnant would mean. After all, she was the pack healer, and she knew from experience just how overprotective mates could become. It was not a rare thing for otherwise even-tempered men to growl at her for doing something so simple as suggesting that pregnancy hadn't turned their mates into easily breakable glass. But more than just mates, the delight that changelings took in children, meant that any pregnancy was celebrated by the entire pack and when the person pregnant was the pack healer...Lara had never stood a chance of being treated with anything less than kid gloves for nine months.

She knew that. And she was glad that she was loved by the people that she loved and cared for in return, but really, she didn't think that wanting five minutes to herself was so very much to ask.

Someone knocked on the office door.

Lara sighed. 

Her wolf buried its head in its paws.

She dropped her feet to the floor and straightened in her chair, doing her best to look like the calm, dignified adult and healer that she was. And if anyone tried to make her eat anything, she had a paperweight next to her that she could throw at them without feeling the slightest bit of guilt. "Yes?"

The door opened and Marlee's strawberry-blonde head peeked through the crack. "Lara?"

She softened immediately. "Come in, sweetheart."

A wide smile on her face, Marlee pushed the door the rest of the way open. She dropped her school bag into one of chairs opposite Lara's desk and then came around the desk, her arms already open for Lara's hug. 

"How was school?" Lara asked.

Marlee shrugged against her and then stepped back. "Okay." She held out a hand, the look on her face almost shy. "Can I?"

" _Yes_ ," Lara said firmly, taking Marlee's hand and setting it against her stomach. She might have minded the proprietary interest that her packmates had in the baby and her general well being, but from the girl that had become her daughter, that was something else entirely.

Lara wanted Marlee to be interested in her baby sister, to love her as Marlee loved Sienna and Toby. And in her heart, she knew that Marlee would. Marlee's heart was big enough to love the entire world if given the chance, but a new baby meant change and relearning roles in a family that had already learned and relearned them enough for a lifetime. So Lara worried, just like she worried about whether or not Toby had a crush on the girl he'd been helping with math, and about the fight that Ben and Marlee still weren't explaining to anyone.

This was _her_ pack, her family, her children. She'd damn well worry if she wanted to.

" _Lara_ ," Marlee said. Amusement danced on her face. "Were you listening to me at all?"

Lara winced. "Will you hate me forever if I say that I wasn't?" 

Marlee laughed and wrapped her thin arms around Lara in another hug. "I could never hate you," Marlee said. "You're ours, remember?"

Lara stroked her hand over Marlee's ponytail, heart bursting with love. "I am."

"Good," Marlee said, and she held the hug for a second more before breaking away and darting back around the desk to her backpack. "Because since you're ours, dad says that means we have to make sure you're eating." She pulled out a container and set it on the desk. "I got cookies from the kitchens on my way to see you."

Lara's mouth fell open in shock. She hadn't expected the attack to come from this front. "Marlee!"

An impish grin and a gentle nudging of the cookies closer to Lara's side of the desk was her only reply.

"Fine," Lara grumbled. She picked up a cookie and bit into it. "Happy now?"

Marlee selected a cookie of her own and sat down in the other chair. She looked exceedingly well pleased with herself. "Yes."

Lara hid her smile behind another bite of cookie. So was she.

*

It was hours later before Lara got a chance to discuss Walker's involvement of their youngest child in his plots to ensure that she remained well fed. First, there had been an emergency with two of the novice soldiers and a sparring match that had devolved into a mass of testosterone and one-upmanship. Lara had healed them both, but not until after Hawke finished reading both of them the riot act. Then there was family dinner with her parents, where her mother _and_ Walker watched pointedly to make sure she'd finished everything on her plate. After that, Walker had had a meeting with the maternals about some of his charges and then there was supervision of homework and bedtimes to enforce, and so it wasn't until after they were closeted in their own bedroom for the night, that she had him alone enough to scold.

"Sending Marlee after me with cookies was a dirty trick," she said. She was sitting up in bed, her back propped up by the many pillows that just kept appearing on their bed these days. She was wearing one of Walker's shirts, since none of her nightgowns fit any longer, and from the heated look in her mate's eye when he turned to look at her, he didn't mind the change one bit.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, his face a blank Psy mask.

She scowled at him, because she hated that face, even when she knew it for a lie. "Don't play that game with me, Walker Lauren."

"I thought you liked it when I played games," he said, face still inscrutable. 

"Walker!"

"Lara." 

He stared at her with the single-minded intensity that she'd come to know so well in the months since their mating. Her wolf recognized it too, shivered in anticipation. Because whatever she might be protesting now, Lara very much liked it when Walker played games. Especially the kind of games that the look in his eyes foretold.

"I," he said, coming to sit next to her on her side of the bed, "cannot help who I am. You knew that when we mated."

"Yes," Lara said. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, her eyes held captive by his stare. "I did."

"I need to take care of you." He touched the swell of her stomach, his fingers spread wide so that they were covering as much of their daughter as he could. "I need to care for both of you. I need you to let me."

There was nothing but stark, complete honesty in his words, and Lara was helpless against them. 

She raised her hand to touch his cheek. "Yes."

Walker's cheeks creased with a frown. "I don't believe I asked you a question."

"I'm giving you the answer I would have given you if you had asked," she said pertly, because even if she understood his behavior, it was important that he know she wouldn't always let him win. "Then you wouldn't have needed to send our daughter in as backup."

"I don't know," Walker said, sounding thoughtful. "She's very disarming. She would probably make a very good spy. No one would ever suspect her."

Lara laughed and her wolf rolled over in happiness. Woman and wolf, they were both content.

Walker took the hand that still rested on his cheek in his and brought it to his lips, brushing them across her knuckles. His eyes found hers, his intentions writ clearly in the pale green that she loved so much.

Lara shivered. Or maybe content wasn't the right word for what she was feeling. 

"I love you," she said.

Walker didn't answer with words, but he left her with no doubts that her feelings were very much reciprocated. 

*

"I've been thinking," Lara said the next morning, as she lounged in bed. Lucy had the early shift and Lara had decided to take advantage, letting Walker bring her breakfast in bed. Now she was watching him get ready for a meeting with Drew about some of the children that were going to be graduating to a new training group soon. 

"Oh?" Walker said. He turned to face her, his shirt still unbuttoned. "What about?"

Lara tried very hard to remember, but all she wanted to do was bite his chest. Her wolf agreed.

"Lara," Walker said, sounding amused. "We don't have time."

She pouted, just a little. She wanted to play. "I have time."

"I'll make it up to you," he promised, sending an echo of his intentions down the mating bond. "With interest."

"You'd better," she said, rising up on her knees and crooking her finger at him. 

He came and bent his head to kiss her and it was a promise of things to come. Both parts of her rubbed against him, wrapping themselves in his scent and the strength of his arms. "Believe me now?" he murmured, still holding her fast against him.

"I suppose," she said, still not wanting to let him go. "What time will you be home tonight?"

"Approximately six o'clock, I believe. I'll pick up dinner from the kitchens, if you'd like."

"Yes, please," Lara said. Any excuse not to cook was more than welcome. "And let's keep it to just us for dinner tonight if we can."

Walker raised an eyebrow, looking as curious as it was possible for him to look. "Was that what you were thinking about?"

"Indirectly," she said. "I was thinking that it might be nice if we let Toby and Marlee choose the baby's middle name. So that they're more a part of it all." She looked up at him, feeling almost shy. "What do you think?"

Walker stared down at her, silent, and she worried for a moment that she'd misjudged, that it was a bad idea. 

"Walker?"

"You," he said, and he shook his head. He kissed her, with disarming tenderness, and her fears disappeared. "You are the best woman I know."

"Does that mean you like the idea?" Lara asked. She needed him to say it, even if she was certain that he did.

"I do," he said. "We'll talk to them about it tonight." He kissed her again and stepped back so he could button his shirt. "I have to go."

"Have a good day," she said.

He headed for their bedroom door, but turned before leaving. "I love you, Lara."

She smiled back at him and he went. She heard the door to their quarters close behind him and fell back against the bed. Today was going to be the best of days. She wouldn't allow it to be anything but.

*

Walker brought home lasagna with crusty garlic bread for dinner, which happened to be one of Toby and Marlee's favorite meals. For Lara, he brought strawberry shortcake, which didn't go with the meal at all, but she had been craving it for weeks now. Her eyes lit up when she saw it and he tapped her on the nose. "Only if you eat dinner first," he said, sounding amused. "Don't you remember what we tell the children about eating dessert first?"

Lara scowled and rubbed her belly. "Well, then you need to have a talk with our third child and convince her that strawberries and whipped cream are not actually vital to her well being. Because she thinks that dessert first sounds like an excellent idea."

Walker's hand slid over hers, so they rested together on her stomach. There was no hint of it in his expression, but she knew that he was reaching out to the baby's developing mind, soothing it with his presence, their love. At the back of her mind, Lara felt the baby laugh and every part of her swelled with happiness. 

"I'm starving," Marlee said plaintively from behind them. "Can we eat?"

Lara laughed, and turned to face their daughter. "Did you wash your hands?"

Marlee nodded. "And Toby finished setting the table."

"Then," Walker said, an arm around each of their shoulders as he steered them towards the dining room, "I suppose we should eat."

Toby was already sitting at his place at the table and he smiled at them. "I didn't think you'd be able to resist Marlee."

"Oh, it wasn't me," Marlee said, helping herself to the garlic bread. "It was the baby. It wants strawberry shortcake."

"Marlee!" Lara said, with a laugh. "We would have fed you too."

Marlee grinned at her, every bit the imp. "Sure. In hours." She dragged the last word out, so it was suitably dramatic, and could only have been something she learned from one of the pups. She held out her plate to Walker. "Daddy, can I have a piece of lasagna?"

Walker served her and then held out his hand for Lara's plate. She passed it over and tried not to look sad that it wasn't dessert instead. 

"Be good," he murmured, as he passed it back. The look in his eyes clearly said that he had deliberately omitted half of his words in deference to their audience. 

Lara shivered. She liked being bad so much more.

From his raised eyebrow, Walker knew that too.

Across the table, Toby looked far too knowledgeable about the undercurrents at play, and Lara decided that the time might be right to change the subject to the point of this family dinner. "We have something we'd like to ask you both," she said. "About the baby."

Marlee looked up from her plate curiously. "What?"

Lara looked to Walker, silently asking if he wanted to make the offer himself. He shook his head and reached under the table to squeeze her hand.

"Well," Lara started, a hopeful smile on her face as she looked at the children, "we were hoping that the two of you would choose her middle name. Together."

Marlee looked giddy. Toby looked surprised.

"Us?" he asked.

Lara nodded. "You."

"That's so cool!" Marlee said. "I have to tell Ben. _He_ didn't get to help with his sister's name."

Lara laughed, glad of Marlee's enthusiasm. "He probably would have named her Marlee," she teased.

Toby grinned and then hid it behind his glass of milk, while a faint pink flush covered Marlee's cheeks.

"Mom!" Marlee complained.

Lara froze, not even sure Marlee was aware of what she'd just said. From Toby's wide eyes and Walker's sharp squeeze of her hand, she knew they were. Her heart raced, and she tried not to let herself get her hopes up too high. If Marlee didn't realize she'd done it, there was no guarantee she'd do it again, no matter how much Lara wanted her to. But she'd done it once, so she could do it again. Lara wanted her to do it again, she wanted her to do it always.

Oh, she wanted.

Marlee looked up from her plate, clearly suspicious of the silence that had overtaken the table. "What?"

"Nothing," Walker said, squeezing Lara's hand once more. "Eat your dinner."

Marlee shrugged. "Okay."

 _I love you_ , Walker said, his voice filling her mind.

She leaned over to kiss him, her heart full to bursting. "I love you too."


End file.
